Dearest One,

You are so brave, so very brave. I see your heart, you’re ready. You are. I know you may not fully believe it yet but you are. You know that there is no reason left to stay, there’s no point, and there’s so much risk. Oh my dear, you are doing the right thing by leaving, it’s so hard and the days ahead will be hard for a bit too. Here’s the reality, it’s hell if you leave and hell if you stay. BUT if you leave, you walk through hell to build your heaven. IT WILL ALL BE OKAY.

You can build your heaven, it’s waiting for you. There’s people lined up that you haven’t met yet ready to help you build it, some you will meet as soon as this trauma ends and as soon as you walk out that door. You will meet them in your DV advocate, you will meet them in your legal counsel, you’ll meet them in those who will help you get out, and those who help you stay out. Some will find you in passing and you will see how beautiful their soul is because, through the pain you experienced, you will see their heart. Your healing will help others feel seen, some for the first time ever. You will find people along the journey that lies ahead, some of them you will only meet for a moment but your heart will love them as if they’ve never been loved before, and others they will stay with you forever.

Some people along the way you will lose. I wish I could tell you that walking away is the end of loss but it’s not. There’s people who will misunderstand you, question you and refuse to associate with you, some of these people will shock you. The loss will be rather catastrophic, but the beauty of what you build in spite of it will be unrelenting. Trust me, YOU WILL HEAL FULLY from all of it. You are the perfect person to tell this story, because you will teach so many others how, even from hell, healing can create heaven. This is your first step. Walking out the door.

My darling, you are so brave, and I am so sorry for every way that many people will cause you undue pain after this but what I can say is that you will rise above it all, you will see the world in a way you never have before. You will love fiercely. You will protect with so much conviction. You will fight for a story that so many before you lost hope in. Because of you stories will be redeemed that would’ve stayed in their grave.

There’s so much waiting for you out there, so many dreams that will be fulfilled and a whole life that will be redeemed. But darling think even bigger. You are redeeming legacy. You aren’t walking out that door to allow trauma and pain to continue. You are walking out that door as a cycle breaker. You are putting trauma back in its grave. You are going to see a beautiful legacy built in your family and in the lives of your children because you made a hard choice. You are rewriting history for your grandchildren by the strength you are choosing when you choose to walk away. You will see them laugh again in a way that they never would have been able to learn inside these walls. You will give them the voice that the man who dominates this home has already begun to suffocate. You will set them free, and help them become who they are destined to be. The man in this home won’t ever allow that. It’s all outside that door, you can do this. You’ve been preparing.

You will be the one to break the statue quo in so many ways. You will write testimonies with your faith that many told you would never happen, you will see God show up time and time again. AND, as your faith grows so will the ways you see him. He is going to change the entire deck of cards, he is going to re-write every trauma into healing and he is going to use you in ways that you can’t even comprehend…yet. But you will…you absolutely will.

You are not only brave and strong but my dear, you are re-learning what safety is because once you walk out that door, you are going to see him continue to keep you safe. You are going to see him protect you and your kids against all hell. You are going to see court orders granted that many said wouldn’t happen, you are going to see rulings issued that many doubted, you are going to see God in ways no one can deny. You are going to see him. I see him right now, he is right there, in the open door. He is right beside you, he always has been.

You feel it, you know it’s real, you know the time is now. And it’s in this moment that everything changes. Some of those changes you won’t see for a few years, some you will see right away. But you are right, the time is now. You can leave. You’ve prepared for this. You can do this. You aren’t alone. You never were, I know right now that may not feel true but as you heal you will see him in every space. You will see him holding your tears, because the healing will change you. Healing will build you in ways you haven’t ever known before. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will rescue others you haven’t even met and you will rescue others who don’t even know they need it yet.

So come on, let’s go. This is your now. This is your time. It’s going to be okay. All of heaven is on your side and it’s waiting to war for you and your children. They will be safe, and you will see God. Let’s go.

Love,

Future You.

If you need help getting out of abuse you can always message me. You are so brave, and God is so good. He wants to rescue you. Let him.