Believe in the life you’ve fought for because you are…
On the Brink of Beautiful.
When I finally started to feel like I could rebuild my life…that feeling doesn’t have words. I waited so long to be out of survival, fought so hard to be given the chance to build again, and hoped that I would get there.
and then one day, almost all of a sudden here I was.
Just like that.
I was free.
It’s your turn.
The rebuild
Becoming You.
You are brilliant. You are kind. You are free. And Darling, you were born for such a time as this. Your trauma isn’t a hinderance, it’s your triumph.
Here’s to the healed story of you.
Feminine You.
I still remember how I felt when I finally realized why I couldn’t just feel pretty or beautiful again. It was the strangest thing. I used to, before I dated him, and definitely before things got bad. But being a year out, the divorce finalized, and a single parent….I didn’t feel pretty. That’s when I realized, abuse is a direct attack on femininity. Join me here as I share some of the things I did to regain feminine me.
Brave You.
Healing is imperative. All the bravery that got you out of that abusive home is the bravery that is going to enable you to face the trauma you overcame. You have to break the lie that tells you that life will always be a fight and choose to bravely heal. Here you can find the steps that helped me bravely heal so I could build the world I have fought all those wars for.
Gentle You.
My life had been a war zone. There was not a part of my heart that was not threatened with death itself and not a part of my world that I wasn’t terrified to lose… How was I supposed to teach my heart that I could fight the war but also create the softest, most gentle environment at the same time?
The rebuild
Recreating You 101:
01
Let Go
Let go of everything you thought you were. The girl who comes out of the grave is not even close to the girl who was buried. Let go of all the expectations you had of who you should be. Forgive yourself for any self-blame. Watch as the one who rises from the grave is more beautiful then you ever could’ve imagined.
02
Discover
The you who rises from the grave isn’t like any version of yourself that you have ever known before. It’s as if who you become when you heal from trauma is who you were always meant to be, and the pain that was meant to break you becomes the most powerful testimony of the you who is today.
03
Stand Tall
This is my favorite part. When you look at the version of you that has healed and you have nothing but pride in who you’ve chosen to become. When hell stood against you, you stood with heaven. You went through the grave and rose in triumph. You turned pain to testimony and testimony became your story.
My greatest wish for you is that you heal, wholly and deeply. That you discover the girl who was strong enough to rise through the grave someone else put you in
Breann Shannell
The rebuild
New Series: Custody 101
4 years safe & countless court filings later
The Rebuild
My Note to You.
Here’s to our stories. Here’s to the triumph.
Finding Us Again.
“…That was July 19th, 8pm….about 5 hours before you were killed.
13 months later and I finally saw it. You didn’t just die to save the kids from an abusive father, you died for me.
You would’ve died for ONLY me.
I alone was enough for you to give everything so I could have the chance to be me again.
You saw what my heart was going through long before anyone else knew.”
Handling Grief: Part 1
It was a story that shattered, a promise of home that I watched and lived. And here I was 3 years later, watching not only the death of the promise but the fight to live in the ruin for so long. By this point, most people looked on my life and thought I was doing well, I was financially stable, rebuilt home and the kids were happy. What most people outside of your world don’t realize is that its when survival finally stops that you get the true death toll. And for me, it was massive.
Handling Grief: Part 2
Silently, as if only my soul was ever meant to hear… I could feel it. If silence had a voice, this voice was shouting. I can remember it so vividly, it was as if my whole life was waiting to break forth, as if every moment and every tear was finally purposed to bring me here. It was beautiful, brilliant and different then I expected.
Have Questions?
Frequently Asked
Questions to Rebuild after Abuse:
Frequently Asked Questions
Rebuilding your life after abuse is often not discussed. Which is so crazy to me because it is the most essential to a full recovery from abuse. Join me on my own journey to rebuilding my life after abuse – I promise it’s entirely possible.
What if I don’t know how to start healing?
I talk a lot about compartmentalizing your emotions until you get to this season of life. The best place to start once you get here is to allow yourself the freedom to feel again. It will be messy, healing always is. But true to the cliche: “If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it”. So as much as it hurts, feel it.
Tell me more about your healing journey.
I think what most surprised me is that who you become when you heal from abuse, is unlike who you were before the abuse. It’s not like you go back to who you were before your trauma. You are so much better, you have so much more power. You aren’t even the same person anymore… it’s really beautiful when pain can be a conduit to a healing you never knew would deliver you into your destiny.
What’s the quickest way to find “me” again after the abuse?
I wish I could say that there is a timeline, but the truth is healing doesn’t follow a timeline and the discovery of you is directly correlated to your healing journey. So the quickest way? Give yourself the freedom you’ve fought so hard for. Let go of limiting beliefs. Give yourself space to re-find yourself again without expectation. You are enough, now go let yourself feel that! Be Free!
What is the best way to go about finding myself after abuse when I just feel lost?
I remember when I finally started to heal, I felt clueless on what I wanted or liked, or felt like doing. It was like abuse had become my identity… and in many ways it does. For me, I started making lists of things I would do when I had free time. Then, even if just for an hour, when I could sneak away from mom-life I would pick something on my list and do that. Also making Pinterest boards of random pins that inspire you is a great place to start! Short answer: Do the things you once did love.
My wish for you.
My greatest wish for you is that you heal, wholly and deeply. That you discover the girl who was strong enough to rise through the grave someone else put you in, that you allow yourself the freedom to find every piece of your heart, every dream that was dormant and every fairytale you stopped believing in. My wish is that you find all the beauty that lives inside your soul, and that you never again wonder of your worth…that you live as the queen you’ve always been.
xoxo,
Breann Shannell
Have additional questions?
We’re here to help. Let’s talk.